Title: Aftermath

Summary: Wes has to deal with the aftermath of NFA.

Rated: R

 

 

            I run. It’s the only thing I can do. All around me people are screaming. I stumble and catch a glimpse of a woman being ripped to shreds. Her pleading brown eyes look at me and she reaches a nearly whole arm out to me.

 

            “Help me,” she begs.

 

            I shove myself up off the ground and push forward. If I stop these creatures are going to shred me alive too and the worst part about it, they’ll shred, rip, tear and eat but I’ll never die.

 

*

 

            It’s a quiet moment, they’re rare here. I huddle next to a tree trunk and watch the people around me. They huddle in groups, safety in numbers I suppose but I deserve to suffer this in solitude. I follow the crowd to the water hole, hole is an appropriate description. It is little more then a hole filled with muddy, sulfurous water. I am quite sure it’s not safe drinking water but there is no other water, just as I’m sure the small animals I capture for food aren’t safe food sources.

 

            The shakes and the vomiting come as they always do. I’m never sure if the thick, sulfur smoke in the air causes it or if it’s the water and the food.  It has become normal to me. It amazes me as always the conditions a human being can come to call normal. We are quite an adaptable lot, more so then any other being.

 

            I fall asleep sometime after the vomiting and the shakes recede. There is no sense of time here, at least not in the sense we’re used to. There is no night or day here; everything remains a mid level gloom, a kind of permanent dusk. There is only when the creatures come and when they do not. The only things to alert us to their arrival are the screams of their victims, rather poor alarm system if you ask me, but no one has.

 

*

 

            I knew the day would come. I don’t know how long I’ve been here, maybe through 4 or 5 dozen of their arrivals? It’s just a guess. I knew the day would come when I would be the one alerting the others of their arrival so I am prepared, as much as one can be, for the claws ripping through my body. They’re cold, a bit like steel and that surprises me. I expected a warmer more organic feeling to their claws.

 

            My screams pierce the air. I do not try to hold them back. I know my screams are the only chance some of them will have to run. My blood spills over the ground, turning the dry, yellowed ground a deep, rich crimson.  The creature’s teeth are cold, like bits of ice, tearing through my stomach. My intestines slip out and the creature slurps them up. A cold numbness rushes over me and I breathe a sigh of relief a bit too soon. Foolish of me I suppose, to think that the unending pain would have an end here of all places. The cold pain grips me and its far worse then the initial, hot rush of shocking pain. My screams echo off the trees, off the rocks and off the dusky, smoky air itself.

 

            The creature rips and feeds until there is nothing recognizable left of my body and yet I do not die. I lie there in torment while my intestines reform, my broken and gnawed bones knit and my skin grows agonizingly quickly. I wonder briefly if Angel felt like this healing and if he did how brave not to scream out, not to whimper. I am not that brave. I know that but I am reminded of it again in this place. I suppose that is part of the point.

 

            The only reprieve from the pain comes in the form of a sort of passing out. The pain is still there but it less pain and more annoyance. It allows me to close my eyes and rest, to prepare for when the creatures comes again and I must run or fall.

 

*

 

            “Wes? Wesley?”

 

            I pry open my eyes with great difficulty. I return to the pain inch by inch and it is then I realize the pain is not quite so great. I was unaware that the creature’s bite, or perhaps it is its saliva, causes hallucinations. I smile up at the hallucination. I could not have created a nicer one.

 

            “Oh, God it is you. I mean I thought it was you when I saw you lying here but I wasn’t sure because I don’t know what you’re doing here. Heck, I don’t know what I’m doing here. Come on, let’s get you somewhere safe,” she says.

 

            I furrow my brow and shake my head. “There isn’t anywhere safe, besides you’re merely a hallucination. The only safety you can give me is a measure of happiness while this creature’s salvia works its effects,” I say.

 

            She wrinkles her nose and laughs a little. I forgot how she laughed. How could I forget something like that? It seems to make the gloom a little brighter. She gently levers me up and grabs me under the arms, hoisting me to my feet. I lean heavily on her as she guides me into the forested areas. I know this should be agonizing but somehow with her near, it’s not.

 

            “Okay, silly but let’s get you up and moving. They’ll be releasing them again in a couple of hours; at least I think it’s a couple of hours. I sort of made my own time frame here but really I think theirs works different from hours but I sat and counted you know one Mississippi two Mississippi, like that, all the way to sixty and then I counted the minutes all the way to sixty to make an hour and I figured out how long sixty minutes was with logarithms and things. I miss the computers at Wolfram and Hart. I think it took me three days to figure it out. I mean in my old office, it would have taken like three minutes of course I wouldn’t have had to do that there, I could have just looked at a clock,” she rambles.

 

            She helps me lean against a tree and then she turns and moves some rocks and tree branches out of the way, revealing a hole just small enough for a person, not large enough for the creatures. It takes a bit of maneuvering but I manage to slip down the hole, rather like a rabbit hole, and land on the rocky ground. My knees buckle and she slips through the hole, landing almost on top of me.

 

            “Sorry,” she apologizes.

 

            I glance up the hole and I notice that somehow she covered the entrance with the rocks and branches from above. No hint of the dull light shines through here, instead things are lit by pools of flame. I get to my knees with some difficulty and crawl over to one.

 

            “Oh, don’t do that, you need to rest. I made a bed over here,” she says and scoops me up under the arms again. I lean against her and let her lead me to the bed she made. It is made of woven reeds and I smile. It is just like her to not only survive, but thrive.

 

            “How did you make the lights?” I ask.

 

            “Oh! That, that was easy, see the water has a really high sulfur content so I just fill the crevices and shallow parts of the rock with water and light them,” she says. She submerges her hands in a deep hole in the floor and comes up with water.

 

            “Quick, drink before I dribble all over you,” she says.

 

            I hesitate and then quickly slurp water from her hands. I smack my lips, rolling the aftertaste around in my mouth. It doesn’t taste as brackish.

 

            “You boiled it?” I ask.

 

            She grins sheepishly and nods.

 

            “How?” I ask. There are no bowls, pots or utensils here.

 

            She wrinkles her nose. “You really don’t wanna know,” she says and casts a glance over her shoulder to her fire pit. I look over her shoulder and see bowls made of clean animal skulls along with utensils made from bone.

 

            I glance around and am reminded of her hotel room in the Hyperion when she first arrived. The walls are covered in mathematical equations. I can not help but smile to myself, even here, in this place she can make me smile.

 

            “I missed that,” she says. Her fingers gently trace the curve of my mouth. I softly kiss her finger tips. Somehow with all the sulfur she tastes sweet and clean, the way she always tasted and I remember that last morning I saw her healthy and smiling, that morning she sang to me; You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. It is appropriate that here she would be my sunshine, the only sunshine I will ever see for the rest of eternity.

 

            I watch as her eyes gloss with tears. “Missed what?” I ask.

 

            “Your smile,” she says.

 

            I wrap my fingers around her wrist, so delicate, and pull her onto the bed with me. She is so tiny I can completely wrap myself around her, submerge my senses in everything that is her. I twine her long, brown hair around my fingers and inhale her scent. She is everything good and beautiful that I ever did and I wonder why was she sent here? I know why I was. I can’t even count the number of things I’ve done to deserve this on one hand, but she never did anything. She doesn’t deserve to spend eternity here.

 

            “Why are you here?” I ask.

 

            She shrugs. “I don’t know. I think maybe it was signing the contract with Wolfram and Hart,” she says.

 

            “Have you seen anyone else here? Maybe Cordelia?” I ask, looking for any support to her statement.

 

            She shakes her head. “No, no one, I was surprised when I saw you,” she says.

 

            “I don’t think it was signing that contract,” I say.

 

            “Maybe it was just having Illyria force my soul out of my body, maybe this is where it goes by default?” She says.

 

            “I’m sorry. I tried to find an answer, a way to save your soul. I couldn’t, I-I looked until I thought I was going to go crazy, maybe I did go crazy but we couldn’t bring you back and I guess it’s just as well because we died. I think we all died,” I say.

 

            She shakes her head and her fingers glide over my cheekbones, my jaw and my lips. “Shhh, shhhh it’s okay. I’m here with you now and that makes it okay,” she says.

 

            I revel in her words and let her soothe the pain of being here. I shouldn’t, I know that. I deserve the pain. I earned it but I can’t turn her away.

 

*

 

            “Good to see you’ve found each other.”

 

            The familiar voice rouses me from my sleep. The woman beside me wakes and breaks into a huge smile at the sight of the old friend in front of us.

 

            “Charles!” She shouts and leaps from the makeshift bed. She flings her arms around him and he captures her up in a hug.  He swings her around a moment and then sets her back on her feet.

 

            Fred shoves a mass of brown curls back from her face and looks up at the tall man in front of her.

 

            “What are you doing here?” She asks.

 

            I stand and amble over beside her. “Indeed, Gunn, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

 

            Gunn shrugs. “Turns out that piece of paper I signed for the brain rewire made me eligible for Wolfram and Hart’s extended work program,” he says.

 

            “Extended work program?” Fred asks, her eyebrows jumping in question.

 

            “He’s bound to Wolfram and Hart, like Lilah,” I say.

 

            Gunn nods. “No less then I deserve.”

 

            “Have you come to collect us for our extended work programs?” I ask. I would rather have my soul rot in this hell then work the rest of eternity for Wolfram and Hart. Of course, if I signed the same contract Gunn did, I may not have much of a choice.

 

            “Nah, you didn’t get stuff crammed into your head. I just came to see how you two were. I’d heard she’d found you,” Gunn says. He glances at Fred and I standing close together and a look of envy crosses over his face.  He shakes his head and the look is replaced by his wide open smile.

 

            “Shoulda known she would find you,” he says.

 

            “It was an accident really. I was out looking for food and he was just lying there,” she says.

 

            Gunn nods. “You seen the rest of ‘em?” He asks.

 

            I know he means Angel and Spike. “No, I don’t know what that means,” he says.

 

            “Means they didn’t die,” Gunn says.

 

            “With all the work Angel did for the Powers toward his redemption, surely he wouldn’t be here,” I say.

 

            Gunn shakes his head. “Last I heard, he was still slated to be down here,” he says.

 

            “So all the things he’s done, they don’t matter,” I say.

 

            Gunn shrugs. “Guess not. Don’t hardly seem right does it? Maybe he’s still got more work to do, maybe when he’s done his name will get moved to the other list, I don’t know. I just work here,” he says.

 

            “I’m gonna leave you boys alone. I’ve got an hour or so before the creatures are turned loose again. I wanna get some of those little berries I found the other day. It was really good to see you, Charles. Maybe you can come back another time,” Fred says. She captures Gunn in a hug and releases him after a moment. She waves and starts toward the cave entrance.

 

            Gunn nods. “I’ll be back, as long as they let me I’ll come back to visit,” he says.

 

            “Why’s she here?” I ask with a glance toward Fred’s retreating form. “You and I both belong here, perhaps even Angel, but Fred doesn’t belong here.”

 

            Gunn swallows hard and goes ashen. “I’m sorry. If I could change what I did…” he trails off and I know why Fred is here. Fred is here because Illyria is there.

 

            “There should be some way…”I say.

 

            “To send her back?” Gunn asks.

 

            “Or to at least get her on the other list, as you say,” I say.

 

            Gunn shakes his head. “No, once you’re here you stay here,” he says.

 

            “But Angel came back. Buffy sent him to Hell and Angel came back,” I argue. This can not be Fred’s fate. As much as I would like to keep her with me for all eternity she belongs in Heaven.

 

            Gunn shakes his head. “Wasn’t his time, too much for him left to do,” he says.

 

            “And Fred? It was Fred’s time?” I shout and the words reverberate off the cave walls.

 

            Gunn shrugs. “Yeah,” he says quietly.

 

            I shake my head. “No! No, that is not possible!” I shout.

 

            “I talked to the big cat after this all went down, turns out I don’t need the white room to talk to him here. Believe it or not, Wolfram and Hart didn’t plan for Illyria; or rather things didn’t go as they had planned with Illyria. The Powers that Be did that. Illyria is more good to them in the apocalypse Angel’s fighting then Fred would be.  They need her body to make way for Illyria,” Gunn says.

 

            “No, that is not possible. The Powers would not do that to Fred,” I say.

 

            Gunn chuckles bitterly. “Ain’t it though? You saw the things they’ve done, and continue to do, to Buffy and Angel. It was all planned, makes them both better warriors, makes ‘em fight harder,” he says.

 

            “And it gets the job done,” I say, slowly resigning myself to the fact that Gunn is right.

 

            “Means to an end, Wes, means to an end,” he says. He sounds tired and ancient.

 

            Gunn turns to go and I stop him. “Hey, Gunn, was it worth it? The fight with Angel?” I ask.

 

            Gunn laughs with abandon and it’s a good sound. “Oh yeah. They’re still cursing Angel’s name.”

 

            Angel’s words come crashing back on me.

 

            “We can’t bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright shining moment we can show them they don’t own us.”

 

            I guess he was right and yeah that was worth dying for.