Title: Ain’t Giving Up

Summary: Mal broods about watching Inara

Author: bashipforever

Prompt: Stages of Love through the five senses: Sight

Word Count: 389

 

 

 

 

You ever get sucker punched in the gut? I have…more times than I can count. Seeing her…every single time is like a sucker punch so you understand my predicament.

 

She’s pretty…gorram beautiful but she’s not perfect. I’ve spent a lot time watchin’, analyzin’ her, trying to find those flaws she wants to hide so bad. She ain’t got many, took me ‘while to find them and even then didn’t see ‘em ‘til I caught her without all that tzao-gao on her face. She’s got freckles, right ‘cross the bridge of her nose.

 

S’not much of a flaw physical wise…sorta…makes me wanna run the pad of my thumb over those freckles. She considers it one though, else she wouldn’t cover them up with whatever it is she does to her face.

 

She always looks perfect, lips all done up with that red lan dong that gets all over the cups an’ chopsticks.  An’ those clothes, meant to show things that make a man want. Things like her wrists, her collarbone…always got that exposed…her neck. Gorram clothes. Why in di yu can’t she wear somethin’ like Kaylee or Zoe?

 

Tell you why…she wants me to turn into a shiong-mung duh kwong-run. Not that jus’ the mere sight of her could, you dong ma.

 

She’s pretty to watch though…sorta like watchin’ Serenity.  Sometimes when the rest o’ the crew are rough housin’ in the cargo bay, she’ll be up on the cat walk jus’ lookin’ down with this expression on her face I never can place. Makes me smile though…got all that dark curly hair over one shoulder. Man could get lost in that hair. Come to think of it, men probably have.

 

Most the time, watchin’ her is relaxin’ kinda like fancy people like lookin at art. I like lookin at ‘Nara.

 

Sometimes it’s jus’ frustratin…remind me of things I ain’t never gonna have, things I don’t deserve even if I did get ‘em. Man like me….don’t get to have a woman like her.

 

Spend those nights on the bridge. Somethin’ ‘bout starin out at the stars helps me forget she’s as outta reach as those stars always will be. Easier to handle if I know I can’t get to her…no matter how hard I try. Makes a man give up.

 

Only I ain’t never been one to give up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**translations:

Tzao-gao=crap

Lan dong=junk

Di yu=hell

shiong-mung duh kwong-run=violent lunatic

dong ma=understand.