Title: Never Gonna Get It

Summary: Post Serenity. They’re fighting again so why did Inara come back?

Prompt: “What do you want?” “I want it all. I want everything” “You’re not going to get it.” ff_Friday

Author: Bashipforever

 

 

 

“What do you want from me, Mal?” Inara asked, fire in her voice and her eyes.

 

“I want it all. I want everything,” he answered after a moment. His voice was gruff, deep, the way it got when he was saying something so honest it was raw.

 

“You’re not going to get it,” she responded. She took a deep breath and dipped her head, closing her eyes and trying to give herself space. “I can’t give you everything. I can’t give it all.”

 

“Can’t or won’t?” Mal asked. She didn’t look at him but she could feel his gaze burning into her, uncovering the most secret parts of her and exposing them.

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“Gorramit, ‘Nara. It matters to me. Can’t shuts me out. Can’t is somethin’ you can’t do nothin’ ‘bout. Can’t…Won’t just means you don’t want to,” Mal told her, his voice rising slightly. He took a step toward her and she fancied she could hear the ring of his boot on the metal grating.

 

She kept her eyes lowered. She couldn’t look at him and speak. Sometimes she couldn’t even look at him and breathe. “I want to…” she whispered so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

 

“Then what’s stoppin’ ya?” Mal asked. Bewilderment colored his voice. He didn’t understand this woman. If she’d been undecided then he could give her time. If she’d been unwilling then he could make himself leave her alone. Instead she had to go and say she wanted. In his world if it was a matter of want, you just did.

 

She looked up at him from underneath her lashes, her bottom lip trembling just slightly. “Everything,” she whispered, realizing that answered nothing. She took a deep breath. “I can’t give you everything. I can’t give it all.” Her voice was calm again, a perfect reflection of a perfect companion.

 

“Tzao-gao!” Mal uttered in frustration. “Don’t do that to me, ‘Nara. Don’t close up an’ become somethin’ I ain’t never gonna get close to.”

 

“This is what I’m talking about,” Inara said coolly. “This is what I can give. This is what I’m capable of. It will never be enough for you, Mal. I know that and you know that.”

 

Mal reached out whip quick and grabbed her wrist, pulling her flush with his body. His free hand reached up and tangled in her hair while his mouth assaulted hers. He nipped at her bottom lip, elicting a soft mewl from her. Her arms wound around his neck as her body arched up into his. He broke the kiss just as suddenly, almost shoving her away from him.

 

“Tell me that ain’t enough,” he whispered hoarsely, his voice laced with need.

 

Inara shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. “I’ve been a companion long enough to know, you and I wouldn’t have problems in the bedroom. It’s everywhere else we’d fall apart.”

 

“We don’t have to fall apart, ‘Nara,” he stopped abruptly and shook his head. “Why’d you come back if this was all we were ever gonna be?”

 

“Because I’d rather be this then nothing at all,” she whispered as she turned and walked back toward her shuttle.