Title: Sense of Direction
Summary: Post Serenity (the
movie) Spoilers! Inara has
lost her sense of direction
Prompt: It all went the way
I wanted it to…Deviant Muses
Word count: 589
She didn’t know how it was
going to turn out. For the
first time in her life,
Inara hadn’t planned this.
In fact, she’d planned the
opposite of this. She had
planned to return to the
guild house, resuming her
teaching duties and her life
as a companion but then Mal
had asked her if she was
ready to get back to
civilization. It had been on
the tip of her tongue to say
yes…but the only thing that
would come out was “I don’t
know.”
Interludes with Mal these
days were civil, hushed and
rife with the pain and loss
they were all going through.
Silently she longed to go
back to the sniping and
fighting. She knew how that
was going to turn out. This
kindness…softness confused
her.
They spent a lot of time on
Serenity’s bridge now,
particularly during the
evening hours when everyone
else had tucked into their
own beds. She couldn’t sleep
because Reavers and the
knowledge that in that
moment she could lose
everything haunted her. More
than that, the knowledge
that her everything had at
some point turned into Mal
threw her sense of direction
askew.
They didn’t speak much when
they were on the bridge. Mal
was a man of even fewer
words than usual now and the
contentment this quiet
brought her was something
she'd began to long for.
Sitting on the bridge with
Mal, looking out at the
stars had taken place of
Inara’s meditation.
Inara lay in her bed, trying
to find the direction in
this new stage of their
relationship. She’d been
tossing and turning for
hours, unable to sleep.
Finally she gave in, slipped
out of bed and pulled her
robe around her. She tread
on bare feet up to the
bridge, not surprised to
find Mal there sitting in
Wash’s chair.
“This is becoming a habit,”
she whispered to avoid
breaking the hush.
“One I’m not mindin’ too
much,” Mal answered without
turning his gaze from the
infinity of stars beyond the
view port.
The silence rolled back over
them, a thick fog they could
get lost in.
“Did you ever make wishes on
stars as a little kid?”
Inara peeled back the
silence after several
moments.
“Used to, ‘fore…’fore lots
of things,” Mal responded.
Inara nodded. She had a good
idea of what some of those
things were and yet many of
them remained cloaked in
mystery. “I always made
wishes on the first star of
the evening. They ranged
from very serious to very
frivolous. I think I was
eight when I went through
this princess phase. I
wished every single night
that I’d be a princess. I
was ten when I started
wishing I was a boy. My
father had no use for a girl
and I desperately wanted to
be of use to him.”
The silence fell again and
Inara decided to give up on
the idea of conversation so
it surprised her when Mal
asked “Whaddya wish for
these days?”
She sighed, turning the
question over in her mind.
“Serenity.”
Mal looked at her finally,
quirking an eyebrow at her.
“You wish for my boat?”
Inara laughed softly and
shook her head. “No…serenity
for those on the boat, for
Zoë, for River…for
myself…for you.”
“Think we’ll ever find it?”
he asked.
“I don’t know…but I don’t
think we should stop
looking,” Inara responded.
She looked over at Mal,
watching him carefully.
“Where are we going with
this…us?”
Mal caught her eye, finally
giving her a half grin.
“Forward, Darlin…always
forward.”
