Title: Blessing or a Curse
Summary: Angst! Lots of
Angst! Post series.
Written for <lj user=moviequoteminis>
“Oh no, it wasn’t the
airplanes. It was beauty
killed the beast.”
Angel sat in his darkened
office, the only light in
the room the moonlight
streaming in through the
open blinds. The glow
forced every object it
touched to be laced with a
shimmering edge and right
now, he felt as if even that
was too much.
It was a deep brood, deeper
than usual. He hadn’t moved
from his chair at the desk
for an hour. His elbows
rested in the arms of the
chair, his fingers neatly
steepled to his lips.
Several times he’d caught
Illyria, Spike, and Lorne
peeking in to check on him
and without uttering a
single word he dared them to
come in and say something.
For now, they’d been able to
understand that this was a
hard day. On days like this
Angelus was loud and angry
in his head; pacing back and
forth in his proverbial
cage, growling like an
animal and yelling
obscenities at him like a
human being. But then he
himself often walked that
line between human and not
quite.
”No, I’m not done yet.
Stupid. You’re stupid. You
hear me Soulboy?”
Angelus’s angry voice filled
Angel’s head, resounding off
of the walls. The pounding
at the cage to break free by
his other half was almost an
ache by now. He looked at
the phone, the object that
had started all of this the
night before. It was her
birthday… Buffy’s.
He’d seen her a year ago
today. A one night stand
that had ended badly with
him unable to hold Angelus
inside and wanting to leave
her again. She’d told him
it was too hard and he
agreed. Seeing her again
was out of the question. It
was too hard to keep his
distance. It was too hard
to see her and not be able
to touch her. It was too
hard to stay in the shadows
when he wanted to follow her
out to the sunlight. She
was beautiful in the
sunlight.
Yeah. You’re some hero.
Staring at the phone like
it’ll call her by her self.
We could go see her, you
know. She’s one of those no
means yes types.
“Shut up…” Angel whispered,
having lost count of how
many times he’d uttered the
words today.
You know what? No. Don’t
you just wanna… run your
fingers through her hair?
Touch her skin and shit… you
know how her blood tastes.
“You’re never going to touch
her again.” Angel growled
at the mention of Buffy’s
blood in his mouth and on
his hands.
Aww, you’re no fun anymore,
Soulboy. Just call her and
say happy birthday. Nine on
speed dial. She should be
at number one, you know?
Just one call. I bet just
the sound of our voice gets
her off quicker than a whore
on Friday night.
Angel picked up the cell
phone, his thumb resting
over the nine button.
Do it. Only twenty minutes
left in the day. You’ll
miss it if you don’t do it
now. Don’t you just wanna
hear her? It’s been too
long. She’ll come… in more
ways than one. She never
could resist us.
The button was pressed
before Angel could stop
himself.
Good boy. Now say hello.
Ask her to come here. We’re
her alpha and omega. She
wants us.
“Hello? Angel?”
It was her voice. Angel’s
lips danced around words
that wouldn’t work their way
out. After another moment
of silence, he killed the
power on the cell phone and
tossed it to the other side
of the room where it
shattered against he wall.
He buried his head in his
hands and raked his fingers
back through his hair
aggregately. If anything,
this was the first moment of
silence he’d had in his head
for the last twenty-four
hours. No, it wasn’t the
airplanes that did it. It
was Beauty that killed the
beast… something he
considered both a blessing
and a curse.
