Title: Legacy - Betrayal

Summary: AU Takes place two and a half years after the end of the series. The movie never happened, but if you’ve read the comic book Those Left Behind, it did. Everything Inara has worked for in her life is finally happening but an old friend shows up, making her doubt everything she’s wanted.

 

You left me, sweet, two legacies,-

A legacy of love

A Heavenly Father would content,

Had He the offer of;

 

You left me boundaries of pain

Capacious as the sea,

Between eternity and time,

Your consciousness and me.

 

Two     Three     Four     Five     Six     Seven     Eight     Nine     Ten     Eleven     Twelve

 

Thirteen     Fourteen

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

Mal walked up the metal steps towards the shuttle that he and Inara had shared for the past month. He carried his brown coat and shirt over one arm having had to remove them so that Simon could tend to the nick he'd suffered on his left arm while on the job. Things were getting back to normal. Another job, another injury.

He knew that Inara would more than likely be attempting to sleep at this hour. Seldom did he actually find her asleep until he was safe back on Serenity. Still, with a glance to the cargo bay below to make sure it was clear, he removed his boots as he neared the door to the shuttle so that the sound of them on the metal didn't wake her up.

Pushing aside the heavy velvet curtain, he set his boots down inside the door and then laid his coat and shirt on the couch. Inara was on their bed, still dressed and holding a book to her chest. A small smile curved on his lips at the sight of her.

 

He went to the basin of water and soaked the sponge in it before running the sponge over himself to bathe. He looked in the mirror that Inara used above the basin at the bruise forming on his cheek from the brawl that had ensued when both he and Jayne had been unable to keep their mouth's shut. Yes, this time they were both to blame and Zoe had quietly fought alongside them as always.  Secretly he knew he’d been itching for a good fight going into this job and had been on the lookout for the opportunity.

He lifted the razor he used and began to shave the stubble that had grown on his face, trying to stay as quiet as possible so that he didn't wake Inara.  Once the numb feeling wore off, he knew he wouldn’t be able to shave over the dark bruise for a few days without hurting himself.  On a normal day, he wasn’t a glutton for punishment.

 

Inara stirred quietly at first, casting one arm out to Mal's side of the bed, searching for him. When she found his side of the bed empty, she jerked into wakefulness, realizing he was still on the job and she'd fallen asleep. "Mal?" she said sitting up, relaxing slightly when she saw him standing in front of the mirror shaving. She laid her book on the nightstand and got up. She walked up behind him, her arms circling around his waist, and placed a kiss to his bare shoulder blade. She noticed the bruise on his cheek first then the bandage on his arm and attempted to quell the panic rising up inside of her.

"You're hurt," she whispered against his skin. It was the first injury he'd had since she'd moved back on Serenity.

 

Mal looked to the reflection in the mirror that showed Inara behind him. "Just a scratch. Doc got me patched up real quick." He said, leaning forward to continue shaving.

He smirked lightly. "Needed a good old fashioned fight anyway. Been awhile. Lucky that the boys we was dealin' with fought for the Alliance. Made 'em kinda easy to anger between me and Jayne talkin'."

 

"I hope the other boys look worse than you do," Inara teased. She wanted to admonish him for getting hurt, tell him how much she worried or that she had spent more than half the night praying for him. She knew none of it would do any good. "You were careful though, right? And if you weren't, lie to me. I worry enough when you go out as it is."

 

"Alliance boys look a lot worse.  Can promise you that." Mal set the razor on the back of the basin and turned around to wrap his arms around Inara. There were times when he still couldn't believe that she was here, that he was living in her shuttle... their shuttle, or that she actually loved him and they had nothing to hide.

Things weren't perfect yet. He still had extreme moments of insecurity where she was concerned. Sometimes his thoughts about life in general got so dark that they would draw him in with them.  Memories of war, prison, beatings, and Sihnon seemed all too real. Inara had caught him staring off into space more than once and somehow, she always seemed to know how to jolt him back into reality. Smiles were still few and far between and only when he and Inara were alone. He was trying to work on that though. His crew needed him to work on it if not for himself, then for them.

"M'always careful." Mal said, repeating the words he always told her when she reminded him to be careful. "Didn't you know that?" He tilted his head slightly attempting to look as innocent as possible.

 

"It's harder to remember when you're hurt though," she told him, reaching up to ghost her fingertips over the bruise on his cheek. She placed her hand against his cheek then slid it down his neck and over his shoulder to just above the bandage on his arm. "Simon says it's alright? Did you need stitches?"

 

"Just a weave. It'll heal soon enough." Mal answered her. "You're s'pposed to be sleepin’. Didn't mean to wake you." He reached up to slide his thumb just under one of Inara's eyes along her cheekbone.

 

“I can't sleep with you gone. You know that. I worry too much," Inara answered, leaning slightly into his touch like a cat. "I'm surprised I fell asleep at all. I guess Hemingway wasn't as interesting as I remember," she smiled.

 

"A little long-winded." Mal nodded in agreement as he led Inara across the shuttle towards the bed. "Guess that means I don't gotta feel bad 'bout needin' sleep since you had none yourself." He got into the bed and turned to hold an arm out to Inara. The look on her face was so telling. He knew it still surprised her when evidence presented itself that he actually did read literature worth reading.

"Gonna make me sleep by myself?" Mal asked, only half joking. He never could sleep anymore unless Inara was next to him.

 

"No, but only because it's just a weave and a bruise," she smiled at him as she took a nightgown out of one of her trunks. "But if it had been more serious, you'd be sleeping alone," she said as she slipped out of the dress she wore and slid her night gown over her head and let it slide down her body. They both knew she was joking. If he'd been more seriously hurt she'd be right beside him, angry and upset but right beside him. She slipped into bed, laying her head on his shoulder. "So, is Hemingway regular reading material for a ranch hand and space pirate?" she asked. On occasion he'd say something that indicated that he was more literary than he let on and she was always curious about it.

 

Mal nodded slightly, his arm circling around her shoulders to hold her to him. "'Round my ma's ranch it was. Conjure it just stuck with me. I ain't stupid... I mean most people underestimate my smarts and I like it that way. Gives me the upper hand. Ain't schooled like you and the doc but I ain't a ben tiansheng de yidui rou neither. Got my own kind of smarts... got enough."

 

"I didn't mean to imply...I know you're not stupid, Mal. I've never thought you were," Inara told him as she hooked one leg over his leg and snuggled closer. "Sounds like I would have liked your mother. I wish I could have met her." Although, given Mal's opinions on her previous profession, Inara wasn't entirely sure Mrs. Reynolds would have been pleased to meet her, much less to find out that her son was in love with her.

 

"She was a character. Wouldn't take crap from anyone and didn't let anyone tell her what to do. Hands respected her." He closed his eyes. "She was a good woman."  Mal half smiled into the dark room.

 

After a moment his smile faltered and he shook his head. "M'only half the man she raised. Ain't so sure she'd know me anymore if she were still alive. A lot about me changed when I decided to volunteer… and even more after the war." It was still awkward talking about himself to Inara. Since she'd come back to Serenity, they'd lain awake talking for hours about this or that. When it got to the subject of the past, many times they'd change the subject or clam up. Mal didn't want Inara to think worse of him for things he'd done in the past and he knew Inara felt the same way.

 

"There's nothing wrong with change. All of it has made you the man you are," Inara told him. "I wouldn't want you to be any one else or any different."

 

"You're sayin' that now... you've already been after me for how different I am than you." Mal said lightly, his eyes still closed as he held Inara to him. "'Bout leavin' my clothes everywhere and the like..."

 

"Well really. I just want things pretty in here," Inara answered. "And one of these days I'll get up in the middle of the night, fall over your boots and break my neck."

 

"Never let that happen..." Mal said, his arm tightening around Inara. "'Sides... all them pretty rugs got paddin' in 'em. Noticed that last time we were on the floor. They're too soft to break any bones."

 

"Oh you noticed that did you?" Inara laughed softly and pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

 

Mal nodded. "I did... course I'm guessin' we could test it out again just for closer inspection." He teased, his eyes still closed, but a small grin playing at the corners of his lips. "Wouldn't want you to fall and break anything valuable... which on you would include your entire bein'."

 

"Oh I wouldn't oppose testing it out again. Just to make certain of course," Inara teased. She watched him with a smile, reaching up to touch the corner of his mouth. She loved seeing him like this, smiling and joking. She'd caused him so much pain; it was nice to be the cause of such happiness too.

 

Mal sat up, guiding her out of the bed with a playful tap to her backside. "Well get on then... gotta make sure you're safe." He followed her onto one of the plush rugs in the shuttle, and settled himself on top of her.

 

She tunneled her fingers in his hair, settling him against her. "You sure you're feeling up to this inspection?" Inara asked, her fingers brushing against the bandage on Mal's arm.

 

Mal nodded against her neck as he nuzzled it gently. "Oh I'm up for anything that's havin' to do with your safety, 'Nara.  As your lover I’m wantin’ it and as your captain this inspection’s an order."

 

"Mmmm, well in that case...Carry on, Captain Reynolds," Inara purred as she dragged her fingers up Mal's back and down again. She arched up into him, her head going back to expose the long line of her neck. "I wouldn't want to interfere. Just let me know exactly how I can help."

 

"You just lay back, darlin'... let me take care of you." Mal whispered, gently moving the silky fabric of her nightgown off of her shoulders. It was moments like these when Inara could make him forget that there was Alliance, jail cells, or anything else. It was just the two of them, and she was here with him. She wasn’t leaving and that was more than enough for him.

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

The slight feel of Serenity setting down on Haven was more than welcome for the crew.  Mal knew they loved being on land even though to him, he could only stand it for small amounts of time and the only reason he tolerated it at all was for them.  He tapped the button that would open the cargo door as his crew trickled into the cargo bay. "Stayin' here for a few days then we'll be leavin’ to look for a job. Rest up 'fore we get back to work."

"Yay!" Kaylee squealed and clapped her hands together as she rushed out to meet Book in a welcoming hug.

Zoe followed her, giving Book a one armed hug. "Shepard. Good to be seein' you."

"Ain't like we're missin' sermons or nothin'." Jayne patted Book on the shoulder.  “Familiar faces is good is all.”

Book raised an eyebrow, an arm going around River in another hug. "Oh I've saved sermons a plenty just for you, Jayne. Have a few for the captain too." He was a little anxious to see Captain Reynolds after Wash had sent him the news that he'd been in prison for three months. He was all too familiar with how former Browncoats were treated in Alliance prisons, especially those who didn’t believe in the word ‘former’. 

 

"Doctor." He nodded a greeting to Simon and then spied a too thin Mal walking off the ship with Inara's hand in his.

"Capt'n and 'Nara are together." Kaylee whispered quietly. "Ain't that shiny?"

Book nodded, a small, knowing smile curving along his lips. "Quite."

"Preacher," Mal nodded at Book, holding a hand out to him in greeting.

Book took Mal's hand and pulled him into a half hug, patting his back. "Captain, it's good to see you... very good. I was just telling Jayne that I've saved a few sermons for you."

Mal smirked. "Ain't needin' any sermons, preacher… just safe harbor for a bit."

"Like candy... sweet and nice." River commented.

Mal shook his head, glancing at River and looking back to Book. "Ain't so bad to see you either though..."

Book nodded softly then looked to Inara, his smile growing. "Inara." He held his arms out to her.

 

"Shepard," Inara smiled, releasing Mal's hand long enough to hug Book. It'd been a long time since she'd seen him, much too long. He looked older but happy. "How are you?" she asked pulling away from him and looking up at him with a smile.

"I'm doing well. And yourself? It's good to see you back with the crew," Book told her.

"I'm doing wonderful and it's good to be back home," Inara said as she hooked an arm in Book's and let him lead her out into the community. "The others have told me a little about your place here. I understand Simon has a clinic here."

Book nodded as he led Inara toward the town square. "He does and it's much appreciated. Praying doesn't heal all wounds. The township loves seeing everyone else too."

As he spoke one of the little boys squealed and ran full tilt at Kaylee who bent at the waist and caught him up in her arms. She carried him on her hip like she was accustomed to having him there. Another gaggle of children surrounded Wash, begging him to do a shadow puppet performance later that evening.

Even Jayne was a popular subject, some of the older kids asking if he'd play guitar and sing later that night. Zoe and Mal walked along behind everyone else.

"When you told me you'd be landing I arranged a celebration," Book said as he and Inara slowed to let Zoe and Mal catch up. "The women in the community have been cooking all day in preparation."

 

"Now, now Shepard. Talkin' real food is right pretty talk." Mal said, stepping up behind Book and Inara with Zoe.

Zoe glanced sideways at Mal. "Yeah, maybe you'll actually eat it, Sir. Good to be here."

Book raised an eyebrow. "Not eating, Captain?"

"Eat just fine." Mal nodded, glancing at Zoe.  “Crew’s just overly worryin’ is all.”

"Lying isn't in your nature." Book shook his head. "Perhaps what we feed you will not only be better than protein powder, but also food for the soul."

"Soul's just fine too." Mal said matter of factly even though he knew his soul was weary.

Book chuckled and shook his head. "Some things never change... or should I say change more slowly than others."

"Just stubborn is all." Zoe watched Mal for a moment as if gauging his reaction.  He’d been in better spirits since Inara had come back to Serenity, but there were times that she knew it was a show.  "Now I'm off to find my husband."

 

Inara reached over and took Mal's hand with her free one, lacing her fingers with his. "That's kind of you, Shepard. I have to admit I share the others excitement about the food. I'm not sure a person ever gets entirely used to so much protein."

"I'm off to check on the clinic supplies. Maybe open it for a few hours before the celebration," Simon said then looked over at River. "Are you coming with me, Meimei?"

River shook her head. "No. She's going to stay. She has to be aware. Always on her guard," she said as her gaze fell solidly on Inara.

Inara shivered slightly at the look in River's eye, moving unconsciously closer to Mal. She'd never been scared of River but she supposed the time away from the girl had left her more vulnerable to her oddness.

"She'll be fine," Book assured Simon. "All the townspeople know to look after her."

Simon nodded hesitantly and started toward the clinic.

"Now, if you two will excuse me, I'm going to check on some of the preparations for tonight," Book told Mal and Inara. "Captain, you know your way around, make yourself at home."

 

Mal nodded, watching Shepard walk away. He looked around the immediate area where his crew scattered around with the locals. Even Jayne was smiling as he played with a few of the kids, lifting them up on his shoulders.

He looked back to Inara. "You alright?"

 

Inara smiled and nodded. "Yes..." she told him. In truth, she was feeling a little like she didn't belong.

"You don't," River said giving Inara another one of those looks that said she knew more than anyone else did before she slipped away toward Simon's clinic.

Inara furrowed her brow and watched after River for a moment then shook her head. "I'm fine." She glanced around the township. "This is nice. Kaylee's told me about it during her wavs but its different seeing it. Everyone seems to belong here, almost the way they do on the ship. It was kind of Shepard to plan a celebration for us."

 

"Preacher's a good man." Mal nodded slightly watching after River. "Can relax here. Nothin' to worry about for a few days."

 

"That'll be refreshing," Inara smiled.  “… and different.”

 

**

 

Inara wasn't sure why she felt the compulsion to change her dress except that it was a celebration and in her world that meant dressing for dinner. She did pick one of her more casual gowns. It didn't quite trail the ground and was a deep orange-red color that often reminded her of the sunset. It left her shoulders bare, nipped in her waist, and like most of her dresses showed off her cleavage.

She left most of her hair down in curls because she knew Mal would eventually take it down anyway. She did pull the sides up to keep it out of her face, securing them with coral combs. Finally, she spritzed on some Jasmine perfume and turned to Mal who was sitting on the couch. "I did warn you about the amount of time it took me to get ready to go somewhere didn't I?"

 

Mal lifted a corner of his lips in a half grin. He could already hear the party in full swing outside and shook his head at Inara. "Don’t mind the waitin' when I got the time. Means I get to do the watchin' too which holds a certain amount of goodness."  He’d been enjoying watching Inara prepare for the celebration and was lazily lounging on the couch.

 

"Something I'm going to have to become accustomed to," Inara told him. It made her a little self-conscious to have him watch her. Inara was completely insecure on the inside. The dresses, makeup and hair acted as her armor, giving her confidence. It was a bit eerie having someone watch her put on that armor.

 She held out her hand. "It sounds like the festivities have started without us. Shall we go?" Actually going someplace with Mal, as his lover was a new experience for Inara, one she was looking forward to. He made her feel like a sixteen-year-old girl in love for the first time. Sometimes the little girl in her that got closer and closer to the surface all the time worried that he'd drop her hand as if it burned and shy away from her. The guild house had taught her that falling in love brought inexplicable pain. She supposed a part of her was waiting for that pain.

 

Mal stood, a hand going out to grasp Inara's. They headed out to the night air. A large bonfire was blazing in the middle of the open area. There was dancing, laughing, and a large assortment of food. "Guess you like makin' an entrance." He teased.

 

"A lady always does," Inara laughed softly and winked at Mal. She caught sight of River dancing among the others and Kaylee sitting next to Simon with a plate of food. They were both talking to Book.

Jayne of course had taken up with some of the single women while Zoe and Wash sat on the edge of the crowd, plates of food in their laps, snuggled up to each other. Inara watched them with a soft smile on her face. Every time she thought of a perfect marriage she pictured them. It wasn't that they didn't fight. She knew they did. It was just that they loved each other so much that the fights didn’t matter. It was obvious to anyone who caught sight of them.

"We should get something to eat. It all smells wonderful," Inara said as they made their way over to the tables burdened with food.

 

Mal piled a plate with food as he went along the buffet table behind Inara. He knew he wouldn’t eat half of it but it was good to keep up appearances. "Got some peaches over there. Know you like those."

 

Inara picked and chose what she wanted from the buffet, a smile forming on her mouth at Mal's mention of peaches. It'd come up during a conversation one evening. "You remembered," she said as she leaned over and spooned some of the fresh sliced peaches onto her plate along with some cottage cheese. Once they'd filled up their plates they found a place near the bonfire to sit down together.

 

Mal sat next to Inara and pointed to where some kids were playing jump rope a few yards from the bonfire. He took a bite of food and watched as the children continued to play. "When I was little, the ranch hands used to..." He trailed off and shook his head. "They're cute young'uns..."

 

"They are cute," Inara smiled as she watched the children for a little while then looked back at Mal. "Do you ever think of having your own?" she asked as she glanced up at Mal.  Inara wasn’t suggesting that he have children with her. It was never something she considered because of issues that ran deeper than she cared to examine. Inara liked children. One of her greatest joys had been working with the younger girls at the guild house and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t imagined children with blue eyes and dark, curly hair. It was a dream though, something sweet to while a way the afternoon, not a serious consideration or a life plan.  She’d learned first hand that there were some people who weren’t meant to have children. Her father had been one of them.

 

"Used to... not anymore." Mal answered, his voice lowered as he took another bite of food and looked back over to the kids. "I'd just end up messin' 'em up."

 

Inara shook her head at Mal's comment. "No. I grew up with a father who ‘messed me up’. I saw you with the girls at the guild house...the way you are with Kaylee and River. You underestimate yourself. I'd be a different person if I'd had the kind of father you'll be," she smiled at Mal. "I don't think you'd mess them up at all."

 

"Havin' their attention for a few minutes and havin' 'em for a lifetime is two different things." Mal said, shaking his head. "I mean, you got kids, their lives and minds are in your hands. Easy to mess up.... even without knowin' it."

 

Inara smiled and put one hand on the back of Mal's neck for a moment, smoothing the hair down there. "I'm betting you'd do better than you give yourself credit for. Besides, you'd make awfully pretty babies."

 

Mal actually leaned back and chuckled at that comment. He shook his head and looked to Inara, his eyes sparkling in amusement. "Well, now I know someone besides my ma and myself thinks I'm attractive. Gotta be the rugged yet handsome profile." He joked.

 

"You should laugh more often," Inara smiled. "It's a good sound and it does wonders for that rugged, handsome profile," she teased him.

 

Mal shook his head and reached for a mug filled with brew. He took a healthy swallow. "If I was to laugh all the time it would get old. 'Sides, I'm a mean old captain... got a reputation to keep."

 

"Oh yes, I'd almost forgotten the mean old man," Inara laughed. She glanced up to where Kaylee and River were dancing. "Dance with me? Or does that ruin the mean old man reputation?"

 

"Ain't really a dancer 'less I gotta be." Mal said. He glanced at Inara, and then downed the brew before getting to his feet and holding a hand out to her.

After helping her to her feet, he led her closer to the bonfire where several people were dancing to a lively tune. He watched the other couples for a moment, trying to gauge the steps. "More of a slow dancer..." He said before beginning to move with the music, his feet in time as he held both of Inara's hands in his.

 

"There's nothing wrong with dancing slow," Inara smiled and stepped closer to Mal. She put his right hand at her hip and her left hand at the nape of his neck, pulling him close. "Nothing wrong at all," she whispered as she tilted her face up, brushing her lips across his.

Book caught sight of Inara and Mal across the square and smiled softly. Perhaps the Captain had finally found something to believe in. It wasn't quite what Book would have him believe in but it was a start. He excused himself from the group he was speaking with and walked over to the musicians. He whispered something to them and they nodded.

In mid song the music changed to something slower. Simon took the opportunity to ask Kaylee to dance.

 

"This is more my tune." Mal said quietly. He held Inara to him as they danced. "Shiny."

 

"Yes, I think we have Shepard to thank for that," Inara smiled and glanced over Mal's shoulder at Book who was still standing next to the musicians. She touched her lips to her hand and waved at Book who nodded and smiled before walking back over to a group of people and sitting down.

Book nodded at Inara.  She and the Captain were beginning to forge a relationship but they could still use a push from time to time.

 

Mal glanced over to the preacher and then looked back to Inara. He knew he should go talk to him sometime tonight. Part of him dreaded it because Wash had told him that Book knew all that had happened to him. "I'll go thank him later." He told Inara.

 

Inara nodded in response. "I'll go with you if you like...or just wait in the shuttle for when you're finished talking to him." She knew Mal needed to talk to Book. In many ways, he was a father figure to Mal. He might not always take his advice but he valued the man's opinion.

 

”Well now just ‘cause I ain't right by your side don't mean you gotta leave the party." Mal teased as they continued to dance. "Like you close by... and you're easy on the eyes."  He also liked her where he could see her for his own peace of mind.

 

"Well I should hope so. I did spend an hour getting ready and this dress cost more than I want to think about. I'd hate to think it was for nothing," Inara teased, her eyes twinkling as they danced. "By the time we're finished dancing I'm sure I will have worked up an appetite. I'll have to go see if I can convince one of the children to burn me a marshmallow over the fire. Once we're finished dancing. Right now...I'm perfectly content where I am."

 

Mal let a small smile appear on his lips. "I like where you are too. Nice place to be. Can teach you to be shootin' a gun tomorrow. Ready for that?"

 

"I'd like that," Inara smiled at Mal. "The guild teaches us archery but that's a bit different than shooting a gun. Guns aren't considered ladylike you know," she teased him.

 

"Guild's got an off way of thinkin' Guns've saved my life many a time. Sure they'll help you out too if you're wantin' to go on jobs and the like." Mal said.

 

"I'd like to. I'm not sure how proficient I'll be at it but I'm a quick learner," Inara told him. "Perhaps another gun, however badly wielded, will help keep you from getting shot so much."

 

"Zoe and Jayne try... and they're both right good with a pistol or a rifle." Mal smirked and shook his head. "But maybe another one will be helpin' a bit."

 

"I just worry," Inara admitted. She dipped her head, fixing her gaze on her feet. She'd never been able to admit her feelings while looking at Mal. "I gave up my life...so now you're my everything...if something happened to you..." she trailed off, shaking her head slightly.

 

Inara looked back up to Mal, her bottom lip trembling. "You'll be careful, right? Even though we've got all that...and I don't want the flippant answer with the wink and the sexy grin. I'm serious. You'll be careful." Her voice was just tinged with tears.

 

"You don't like my winkin' and sexy grins?" Mal asked jokingly, then sobered and nodded. "Can't promise I won't be gettin' hurt, 'Nara. Can be careful though."

 

Inara nodded and held her breath a moment before letting it out. She leaned her forehead against Mal's shoulder, pulling him closer. "Okay...that's all I ask then." She looked up at him with a soft smile. "And yes I do like your sexy grins and winks."

 

The music ended and another quick paced tune started. "Afraid that's all the dancin' I got in me for now."

 

Inara tiptoed slightly and kissed Mal quickly. "Go talk to Shepard. I'll dance with Kaylee or get a drink or something. I'll be around."

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

 

Mal found Book on the outskirts of the party, watching everyone from afar. For a moment he thought of turning back, not wanting to interrupt prayer if that was indeed what Book was doing out here all alone.  When Book spotted him he met him halfway, embracing him in a one-arm hug.

He gave the preacher a small half grin. "So how goes it, Preacher? Keepin' the flock in line?" He started with casual conversation.

 

"Trying," Book answered with a smile. "Most of the time I think they're keeping me in line. And you? Keeping the crew in line?"

 

Mal smirked at the comparison. "They are keepin' me in line. Been downright over bearin' for awhile now." <I>Since prison..</I>. He shrugged, mentally brushing away any thoughts of his time in prison. "Conjure it ain't necessarily a bad thing."

 

"Proof someone cares about you," Book responded. "No, it's not a bad thing." He glanced out at the crowd dancing around the fire, laughing and singing. He wasn't sure whether to broach the subject of Mal's time in the Alliance prison or not. "Sometimes we can't take care of ourselves. We need someone to do it for us. You're fortunate to have people who will.  There are times when it helps to let someone else do the taking care of instead of always being the one with the responsibility."

 

"Ohhhh I got a lot of someone's." Mal nodded with a lithe smirk.  “Whether I’m needin’ it or not… which I ain’t.”  He was silent for a moment, then followed Book's gaze out to the bonfire. "I’m a lucky man. 'Nara and me... finally decided to quit pretendin' we didn’t see each other."

 

"I gathered that and Kaylee told me," Book turned to smile at Mal, his arms crossed over his chest. "I take it she's quit her job?"  He knew that this was a given.  It was something that the Captain wouldn’t and couldn’t make himself compromise on.

 

Mal nodded at Book then answered him aloud. "She did. Still times I can barely believe it. Told me ‘no’ right on four times before she finally gave in. Things got pretty messed up there for a bit."

 

Book took a deep breath, his lips thinning as he considered what Mal was telling him. He could be the naysayer, make warnings and all sorts of things. That wasn't what Mal needed right now. If Inara intended to hurt him in the long run no warning would prevent it.  "Do you have intentions of 'making her an honest woman' as they used to say."

 

"I do." Mal started, surprised by the answer that had taken no consideration. "Can hear my ma in my head yellin' at me if I don't. And I'm wantin' ‘Nara that way. Just ain't thought that far yet... but eventually... yeah I'm wantin' her to marry me."

 

Book nodded. "It'll be good for both of you." He stuck his hands in his pockets and let the silence lie between them for a moment before he prodded for more. He knew if the subject were going to be breached, he’d have to bring it up. Mal didn’t talk about himself without being prodded. "How is everything else?”

 

Mal drew a deep breath and considered finding a way to avoid answering this question honestly.  He knew Book would see through any lie. "Dark... dark 'less she's in the room." He shook his head. He had talked to Book about things before, but since the preacher had decided to stay planet side he had become a confidant and a mentor. Maybe it was because he didn't have to see him everyday. "Got nightmares that won't seem to stop comin'. You know how it is.... Much as you know 'bout the Alliance, you know that my open opposition to them made me pretty special in their eyes." He looked over to Book. "Wash told me he told you... and that you donated money to help get me out. Guess I owe you a thank you."

 

"No thanks necessary," Book told him. "I wish I could've done more." He kept his focus on the party rather than looking at Mal. It always made confession easier if one didn’t have to look their confidante in the eye. It was the whole reason Catholics had screens between the priest and the parishes. "In my experience nightmares fade with time. They're worse when you're hurting...under stress. Give it some time. Anything I can do to help?"

 

"Don't need any help." Mal said flatly. "Never have."

 

Book sighed and nodded. He'd expected the rebuff from Mal. He'd have to make the offer to Inara. The others knew if they needed help, or if Mal did, they could ask.

"Thought as much," he said, keeping his gaze fixed on the party. "Never had any children. Don't know that I've ever told you that. Come to consider you a lot like a son though. I'd consider it an honor if you'd come to me when you needed a thing."

 

Mal gave a barely perceptible nod, even though he knew Book wasn't watching him. No one would ever know how much what Book had said to him had meant.  He quickly changed the subject, true to form.  "Mighty fine party you're throwin'. Crew likes comin' here."

 

"We like having you stop over. Everyone misses you all when you're gone. Besides, they love having an excuse for a party," Book said, not missing that Mal had skipped over the whole conversation. It didn't matter as long as Mal understood that if he needed to talk, Book was there.

 

"Think this'll stick? 'Nara and me?" Mal asked straight forward. He valued Book's opinion and couldn’t help the hint of worry that laced his voice.  He was continually afraid that Inara would realize everything she’d left behind and leave him.

 

Book shrugged, considering the question for a moment. "It's hard to tell something like this. I never married but I wasn't always a Shepard either. It's a big commitment of sorts that she left her profession. Companions are well respected by most in the core planets. Have you spoken with her about the idea of marriage? Or children? What were her thoughts on it? Things like that can indicate how dedicated someone is in a relationship."

 

"Not the marriage part... the kids part yeah." Mal nodded. "She thinks I'd be better than her father was. Which from what I've heard 'bout him, a step higher than him wouldn't be so shiny as one would think."

 

Book nodded. "I'd say you two have as good a chance as anyone. I don't suspect it'll always be easy. From what I've heard, marriages never are. However I don't think quitting will be a problem for you," he smiled at Mal.

 

Mal smirked. "Ain't one for quittin'. And easy is boring."

 

"I've noticed that about you," Book smirked. He glanced back at the dancers, noticing Inara dancing with a whole group of people and laughing. She didn't fit in here but somehow, in a way, she did. "When you do get around to marrying her, I hope to be invited."

 

Mal followed Book's gaze to where Inara danced. Even his features held conviction and belief when he looked at her. He put a hand on Books shoulder and squeezed. "You'll be performin' the ceremony."  He said his attention completely diverted.

 

He walked away from Book, making his way to Inara and slipped an arm around her waist. He joined in the dance with her, and at that moment, there was no one else in the world but her. "Wǒ ài nǐ" He said to her, above the music.  If he was anything, he was a man of action.

 

Inara turned to face Mal, surprised at his words. Her eyes were wide a little shocked at the admission. He'd told her that he'd never loved anyone this way before he left her at the guild house but he'd never said I love you before in Chinese or English. "Wǒ ài nǐ," she repeated, a smile curving her lips as she put a hand at the back of his neck. "What was that for?" she asked after a moment.

 

"Cause I'm about to ask you somethin'... somethin' important and it sounded right comin' before it..." Mal said hesitantly, then shrugged slightly. "And cause I do." He added before leaning down close so that his lips were to her ear. "Want you to marry me... say you will."

 

Everything in Inara stiffened up. Her throat closed and the entire universe seemed to narrow to just her and Mal. She knitted her fingers in the hair at the back of Mal's neck, physically holding him closer to her. "Mal...I-it's not. I-" she stopped. Oh Holy Buddha...don't let this be the end of us. "You know how I feel about you. You know I l-love you...I just...I can't."

 

Mal shook his head, having heard her but not understanding. "Can't hear me?" He took her hand in his and started back towards Serenity and the quiet of their shuttle. They needed to get away from noise and music.

 

Inara let Mal lead her back toward Serenity to their shuttle. She didn't say anything until they got to the shuttle. She felt sick to her stomach, almost like it was Sihnon all over again. She looked up at him, not sure exactly what to say. She knew in part, she was rejecting him yet again but the idea of marriage even to Mal, terrified her. She'd grown up with a first hand example of how badly it could be messed up.

 

Mal pulled Inara close to him a grin on his lips. "Now if you weren't hearin' me properly... I'm askin' you to marry me ‘Nara."

 

Inara took a sharp, shallow breath unable to look up at him. "Mal… I-it's not that I don't-you know how I feel about you. You know I lo-love you. I just...marriage is-I don't want to mess anything up. Things are... perfect the way they are and-I just-I can't. Can't we just leave things the way they are?"

 

Everything seemed to slow down to a dead stop except for Mal’s heart that he could suddenly feel pounding loudly in his chest.  His brow furrowed in surprise and confusion.  "You... You're sayin' no to me."  It was more a statement of shock than a question.

 

Inara ducked her head, her cheeks flaming red. She shook her head. "No… I mean-I just… Remember how I said I was scared? Marriage is whole new level of terrifying for me. I-marriage… it's scary," she finally said in a half whisper. "Please don't leave me," the last was barely a whisper laced with tears.

 

"Ain't leavin' 'Nara..." Mal said immediately, without a thought. He ran a hand back through his messy hair agitatedly. "If you can fly, you can do anything. Can't be spendin' your whole life bein' scared of livin' it."